"Each day's a gift and not a given right"
About 10 years ago, I worked with a young apprentice called Michael. Great guy, 21 handsome, six foot tall and built like a brick sh.. Well He was muscular :) He was training to become an electrical engineer, but at night and weekends he was a "hobby bobby", A special constable in the police force. He took a lot of aggro for the police thing but he stuck with it and said one day he was going to be a policeman. And you know what, I believed him.
A few months later he came in and told me that he was leaving to become a full time policeman. We had a surprise party for him that weekend, his fiancee came along and we all got drunk and took the piss out of the new copper. Six months later he was dead. A motorbike accident.
"Would you live each moment like your last"
It hit me hard, very, very hard. A young guy with his whole life in front of him, family, friends, a woman that he proposed to a year earlier? What a fucking waste. It took me a while to get over it, but I did and it made me revaluate my life a little. It was pushed to the back of my mind, until yesterday.
"Leave old pictures in the past"
I left the gym and was heading home, just about to cross the road. I saw a white car slowly edge over the white line in the middle of the road. Not enough to be in the way of the cars on the other side of the road, but enough for the oncoming motorbike to be unable to get out of the way. The next few minutes seemed to go by in slow motion. The bike hit the side of the car, the rider was catapulted over the bonnet, somersaulted through the air and landed several feet away on the road on the other side of the car.
I've done emergency first aid and the first thing we were taught was "Evaluate the area for danger before putting yourself in any situation" I took that in and will always remember it. Yep, that's right, I ran into the road like an idiot to get to the biker, causing an oncoming car to swerve and nearly caused another accident.
"Every second counts 'cos there's no second try"
I reached the biker as he was trying to get his helmet off. I grabbed his hands and told him to keep it on. Neck injuries are a bastard, and can really fuck you up. Trust me on that one OK. So I chatted to him to take his mind off the pain and keep him company. We talked about his girlfriend (it was her birthday) what he did, football, girls, anything really just to keep him occupied. A little while later, the ambulance arrived and took him away. Then the police arrived and took me away. Witness statements and whatnot.
"Live it like you're never living twice"
Which brings me to today. I received a phone call about an hour ago from the police station. Someone related to the injured biker "Would like to talk to you"
"um yeah, Ok"
The phone was passed across and a deep voice came on the line. It was the young bikers Dad. He thanked me for staying with his son and making sure he was OK until the ambulance arrived. He was a little emotional, but told me his son was going to be fine, just a broken leg. I will never forget that call as long as I live, nor the emotion in that man's voice.
So just incase you haven't realised it yet. Let me spell it out for you. This is it, you only get one shot at life. Make the best of it. It's not a rehearsal, it's the real thing. You can't get to 40 and suddenly decide you want to try it again. Enjoy your life, live every day like it's your last. Take chances and have fun. But whatever you do, enjoy it!
Lyrics from "If today was your last day" Nickelback.
Thursday, 4 August 2011
Tuesday, 2 August 2011
Narnia.
2006 was a shitty year, had a few personal problems (not for blogging) and I had an accident which nearly put me in a wheelchair. But on the bright side, 2006 was when I first discovered a small area of woodland that I retreat to when I need to think, or relax or just enjoy the surroundings. Lately I find myself there a lot. A lot of it is to do with the wonderful weather we've been having, but mostly if I need to think or clear my head, this is just the place to do it. I've always thought of it as a "Bridge to Terrabithia" type of place, even has a rope swing across the stream! But Someone mentioned "Narnia" a while back and it sort of fitted.
The entrance to Narnia.
So today, I'm going to take you to Narnia, (Ok it's a small wood) a place that relaxes me, a place I continually return to and a place that a lot of friends have grown to love. I'll throw in a few pics for good measure, nothing stunning just pics of a wood, but it's special to me so what are you gonna do?
So here's the tour, "The tree stump", it's about half way in and a great place to stop for a rest. Watch out for the nettles though they can be a bitch. Spent a lot of time poking around here, amongst the dead wood and stuff. I'm not going to get too involved in poking, I don't know you that well and frankly it'd be rude of me.
This tree is dead, stripped of bark and all it's branches and stands out a mile. I've walked past here and seen kids playing cowboys and indians or maybe cowboys and space rangers? Who knows, kids have great imaginations. But adults have better imaginations, furry pink handcuffs anyone?
Blair witch project? Yep, I guess it might be a little scary here in the middle of the night.
My place of solitude. It's so quiet here. I can sit for ages listening to the water as it moves or just watch the ripples. But what i usually do is sit on that rock on the other side of the pic and write. Yep, I'm really hardcore eh? I sit there and I write. Crap mostly, journal type stuff, but I like writing and what better place?
So there it is, I had a few more pics, but I wont bore you. The pics don't do it justice. It's quiet, peaceful and a wonderful place to escape to and I was bored so I blogged about it :P
Sunday, 31 July 2011
That Librarian woman.
She's done it again. Persuaded me against my better judgement, to come in to the library on a Saturday and read to the kids. Again.
A few weeks back I had a day off work and offered to help a friend at the local library. Just moving some boxes, stacking shelves and lugging stuff around. Unfortunately they were a staff member down and were about to tell the assembled parents and kids that the "Read with me" session was cancelled. So guess what? Yep, I became the "me" in the "read with me".
I can't recall the exact title of the story, but I think it was something to do with a yellow dog. The kids seemed to enjoy it. Especially one little guy who decided he liked my celtic cross….
"what's that?"
"It's a cross"
"Don't look like a cross"
"It's a celtic cross, it has a circle on it to represent.. never mind, it's a cross"
"Can I look…"
"No don't pull it, you'll snap the chain, don't pull it, don….. sigh"
The rest of the story was spent with my cross and chain in my pocket and my beedy eye on little "Stu" who I immediately marked out as a trouble maker, due to his destructive talents and the fact he kept poking his tongue out at me.
Anyway, the story ended, the kids dispersed and the librarian wandered over. "I was watching you, you're good with them, you did the voices and everything, they liked you"
"No, I think they were scared"
"No, they liked you, can you come into my office for a minute?"
There followed a conversation in which I agreed to come back a week later and do it all again (what was I thinking). Unfortunately I couldn't make it and thought no more of it. Until yesterday when I went to get some travel books out. (see previous blog)
"Ah J. We missed you last week, fancy doing the "Velveteen rabbit" for us"
"The velveteen what?"
"The story, would you read it to the kids next saturday"
"Um, I er, I'm er.. Oh Ok"
So that is how I am going to spend next Saturday, reading the "Velveteen Rabbit" and keeping a close eye on my chain and cross. No, I won't take it off. There's a story behind it and it stays around my neck all the time, even in the presence of little Stu.
But what has reminded me to write this blog is the phone call I just received from the friendly Librarian. Apparently 3 of the kids took that yellow dog book out and read it to their parents, voices and all. They said to pass on their thanks to me. So she's asked me to do a regular slot. Ha! "Read with Jay" So after the Velveteen Rabbit, I've got a regular gig at the local library. Yep, I'm living life on the edge and taking each day as it comes!
A few weeks back I had a day off work and offered to help a friend at the local library. Just moving some boxes, stacking shelves and lugging stuff around. Unfortunately they were a staff member down and were about to tell the assembled parents and kids that the "Read with me" session was cancelled. So guess what? Yep, I became the "me" in the "read with me".
I can't recall the exact title of the story, but I think it was something to do with a yellow dog. The kids seemed to enjoy it. Especially one little guy who decided he liked my celtic cross….
"what's that?"
"It's a cross"
"Don't look like a cross"
"It's a celtic cross, it has a circle on it to represent.. never mind, it's a cross"
"Can I look…"
"No don't pull it, you'll snap the chain, don't pull it, don….. sigh"
The rest of the story was spent with my cross and chain in my pocket and my beedy eye on little "Stu" who I immediately marked out as a trouble maker, due to his destructive talents and the fact he kept poking his tongue out at me.
Anyway, the story ended, the kids dispersed and the librarian wandered over. "I was watching you, you're good with them, you did the voices and everything, they liked you"
"No, I think they were scared"
"No, they liked you, can you come into my office for a minute?"
There followed a conversation in which I agreed to come back a week later and do it all again (what was I thinking). Unfortunately I couldn't make it and thought no more of it. Until yesterday when I went to get some travel books out. (see previous blog)
"Ah J. We missed you last week, fancy doing the "Velveteen rabbit" for us"
"The velveteen what?"
"The story, would you read it to the kids next saturday"
"Um, I er, I'm er.. Oh Ok"
So that is how I am going to spend next Saturday, reading the "Velveteen Rabbit" and keeping a close eye on my chain and cross. No, I won't take it off. There's a story behind it and it stays around my neck all the time, even in the presence of little Stu.
But what has reminded me to write this blog is the phone call I just received from the friendly Librarian. Apparently 3 of the kids took that yellow dog book out and read it to their parents, voices and all. They said to pass on their thanks to me. So she's asked me to do a regular slot. Ha! "Read with Jay" So after the Velveteen Rabbit, I've got a regular gig at the local library. Yep, I'm living life on the edge and taking each day as it comes!
Europe on a budget
Chicago, remember that blog? Ok it's only a page back, but it's been several weeks.
After talking online with two women for several years, I was very hesitant at meting them. Would they be the same in real life, just as fun and interesting or would they be totally different. More importantly, what would they think of me? I needn't have worried, Kay and Linda are just the most wonderful women I have ever met and I'm happy to say I count them as two of my closest friends. So it's no surprise that a second trip for the golden trio is currently being prepared.
Europe! Well it started off as London, but with Paris being a 2hr 30 min train Journey away, it opens up Europe. So here I sit on a Sunday afternoon, up to my elbows in books and with papers thrown all over my study. Most of it scrunched into little balls and huddling around the litter bin. Still can't throw to save my life. Nine scrunched up balls of paper and only two ended up in the bloody bin!
Yes I have a computer, I have two in fact. A windows netbook (bleurgh) and a gorgeous Apple Macbook (wonderful). But I still use a pen and paper for my ideas and notes. Hence the screwed up bits of paper. My early itinerary consists of two pieces of A4 paper with a list of cities (London, Paris, Zurich, Vienna, Prague etc) and train routes between them. At the top in a circle is a note of things to do in the city or places to go, it's an early draft so most of it says "see list", apart from the one over the final city. That one says "keeping boxer shorts on". Yes, I will do that for you, but I'm telling you now, the boxers stay on!
So, the holiday fund? It's just taken a major hit. Driving home yesterday and the car decides to just not start after I parked. Nothing. Just some ominous clicking and the usual lights on the dashboard. Hmmm, must be the starter. As usual in times of crisis I head to Twitter (not that they need to know, but it seems to induce a state of catharsis) A Twitter reply, from a woman (ha, a woman and cars!!) 5000 miles away informs me "It's your battery". I think not, the starter has obviously gone. Pfft, as if it's the battery!
10 minutes later, a truck driver stops, looks under the bonnet as I try to start the car and goes off to the truck, returns with some jump leads, connects them up and says "Try her now". Success! The engine revs into life and I get out to thank him. "It's your battery mate, it's flat".
"Um, not the starter then?" I ask.
"Starter? Don't be silly. Flat battery". And with that he returns to his truck.
So the upshot is, the alternator is knackered and wont charge the battery. A quick phone call results in a quote of £400/$650 for the repair. So yeah, the holiday fund has taken a hit and I need to start saving again.
Europe on a budget? How about Europe on bloody sod all!!
After talking online with two women for several years, I was very hesitant at meting them. Would they be the same in real life, just as fun and interesting or would they be totally different. More importantly, what would they think of me? I needn't have worried, Kay and Linda are just the most wonderful women I have ever met and I'm happy to say I count them as two of my closest friends. So it's no surprise that a second trip for the golden trio is currently being prepared.
So, the holiday fund? It's just taken a major hit. Driving home yesterday and the car decides to just not start after I parked. Nothing. Just some ominous clicking and the usual lights on the dashboard. Hmmm, must be the starter. As usual in times of crisis I head to Twitter (not that they need to know, but it seems to induce a state of catharsis) A Twitter reply, from a woman (ha, a woman and cars!!) 5000 miles away informs me "It's your battery". I think not, the starter has obviously gone. Pfft, as if it's the battery!
10 minutes later, a truck driver stops, looks under the bonnet as I try to start the car and goes off to the truck, returns with some jump leads, connects them up and says "Try her now". Success! The engine revs into life and I get out to thank him. "It's your battery mate, it's flat".
"Um, not the starter then?" I ask.
"Starter? Don't be silly. Flat battery". And with that he returns to his truck.
So the upshot is, the alternator is knackered and wont charge the battery. A quick phone call results in a quote of £400/$650 for the repair. So yeah, the holiday fund has taken a hit and I need to start saving again.
Europe on a budget? How about Europe on bloody sod all!!
Wednesday, 13 July 2011
The girl with the flower in her hair and Terry Pratchett
My Kind of Town (Chicago Is)…
Just back from Chicago, had a blast. Best weekend I've had in a while, well at least since the stag party in Blackpool a few years back when I met a young lady who could do things with her tongue that you wouldn't believe. Anyway, enough of that, on with the blog.
There was a staff meetup in Chicago with CBS. Bitterepiphany and timeturner were going to have an interview with them. We were discussing this when Kay asked if I could make it over "tomorrow". I laughed, from London, by tomorrow?…..
Six hours later I was on a plane.
I arrived at my hotel and got a message from Linda and Kay to meet them for a drink. So I got in a cab and said I needed to go to The Hilton on the corner of Delaware and Michigan. Fifty minutes later and just as many dollars, we arrived but could see no Hilton hotel. At this point the cab driver decided he had done his job and told me to get out as he had taken me to the address. So there I was wandering around a strange town asking people for the "Hilton". No one seemed to know where it was until a doorman pointed me in the right direction.
Five minutes later I met Linda and Kay and a small dynamo called Grace. The girl with the flower in her hair. Drinks flowed, conversation was made and Grace made an immediate impact on me. I don't think it was the fact she kept "falling" out of her dress (OK maybe that helped) but more that she had such a bouncy, bubbly personality that I was immediately put at my ease. Although she did wonder about my eating fries with a fork :P
The later part of that evening was spent discussing the forthcoming interview with CBS, as the night wore on I decided to stay at their hotel. Time for more drinks and appreciative comments on pyjamas.
The interview went well. The girls were filmed on their computers doing HPFF stuff, I was filmed reading a magazine about the forthcoming "Smurfs" movie. Yep, I'm dedicated, there's no denying that. :P But the CBS guy wanted a one on one interview and this is where Kay came into her own. Linda and I left the room and Kay gave a wonderful account of HPFF and her part in it. She was in fact quite calm and if truth be told I think she enjoyed it!
While on the subject of Kay, I have to say that for two people that were brought together through my site, it's hard to believe just how close she and Linda are. In fact I did feel like I was getting in the way of their weekend. I asked them several times if they were Ok with me being there and they said yes. Of course it didn't help that after I went out for a while I returned to be locked out of the room and no idea where they had gone. I thought "I've asked all day and now you don't want me around"! So I waited 10 minutes and being the rational, logical guy I am, I texted something along the lines of "screw this, I'm going back to my hotel" to Linda. I decided on one last check of the door as I returned from the lobby, and as luck would have it, they were there. They'd been out getting booze and doughnuts for me. Yeah, how fucking bad did I feel then.
Later that evening as Linda was feeling a little tired and sleepy, Kay decided to take me shopping. Bad move. Linda had no key. House keeping decided that Linda was not supposed to be in the room and threw her out. My shopping spree resulted in a bottle of aftershave and a seriously pissed off Linda. Neither really what I wanted.
Sunday night, and I had the best steak I've had in quite a while. Linda, being Linda picked up a 'book'. The waiter approached.. "Ah, I see you're browsing the wine list". Kay and Linda exchanged knowing glances. "He wants a Grappa". What?? I don't even know what a Grappa is. Maybe it's a fine red wine to wash down my steak, maybe a chianti that dances on my palate? Well a small sherry glass containing a clear liquid arrived. "What do I do with this? Down it in one, sip it?" Kay looked at me and said just drink it. I took a big gulp of clear liquid. Fuckin hell I can't breathe, my chest is burning, my throat is on fire and the words I try to make come out as high pitched squeaks. Kay of course laughs and says try some more. Like an idiot I do, it's worse. This time my tongue goes numb and my ability to speak has been removed. Linda now decides to join Kay in mocking me.
There is a strange incident earlier in the day, the three of us are out looking around the area. We come to a crossing and all of a sudden I feel as if I have been hit by a lightning bolt. I let out a shriek and jump six inches off the floor. Everybody around me stares as I start to giggle, I don't know what happened. Kay is looking at me perplexed, Linda has a strange calm, smile on her face. Suddenly I am bent over laughing. I can't help it. People are avoiding me and gawping at the weird British guy. Kay and Linda walk on as I stumble along with tears in my eyes, still not knowing what the fuck happened!
The next few days were a mash of sightseeing and revelations about timeturner. She's a librarian, so when in Chicago you gotta visit the library right? Dude, (Kay, that's your fault! I never say dude) it was a huge place, took us a while to hunt down HP, but we finally found him and took a pic for you guys. The touristy thing continued and as we walked past a park we decided to stop for a rest and to get some water. It was here that I discovered the first revelation about timeturner. She is a magnet for weirdos and gropers. As we went to sit down a homeless guy started shouting things at her. She wasn't too bothered, I think this kind of thing is a regular occurance (as would be proved later at the precinct and the airport). So we sat there enjoying the weather and the park and I discovered something else, she has a back problem. She couldn't sit for too long without getting shivers running down her back. Strange, but as the day wore on, nothing would surprise me. I think it was later that day that I nearly managed to drown your site manager. It's a long story and best kept for another blog.
We left the park and somehow ended up at the precinct where two policemen decided to fight over which one of them would be photographed with Linda. Seriously, they were arguing in front of me! The tall guy won and the resulting picture made timeturner look like she was three foot 6 tall, when in reality we all know she is four foot. Food followed. Another revelation about Linda occurred later. She had told me she had issues with something and that it would have a bad effect on her. I thought she was exaggerating slightly, but as we came out of the lift to the room that night, she nearly collapsed in a heap on the floor :( Lesson learnt, timeturner does not exaggerate.
It was a little while later that Linda tweeted that she knew "what Jay's best feature is". Well I gotta be honest, I know what my best feature is and I really thought I had kept it hidden. I still have no clue how she saw it. But the next day, "Jay's best feature" would be a tattoo.
I don't really drink. Trust me, strange things happen around me when I am drunk. I'll usually get a Southern Comfort and 'Nurse it' for a while. Because if I have too many, all kinds of weird shit happens. I say things that shouldn't be said and do things that I regret later. This weekend was DEFINITELY not the time to get drunk. So normally I stay quiet and sip my drink. But tonight, timeturner decides it's a good idea for a tattoo. Not just any tattoo, and not on her. A Harry Potter tattoo "You know a lightning bolt or something would look good on you!" So 20 minutes later I am the proud bearer of "Harry Potter" across my back. What a fucking dick!
The final day saw a visit to "Sears Tower" for the skydeck, which seeing as I used to suffer from a fear of heights was interesting. Linda loved it and there are loads of pics to prove it. But I will say one thing, this skydeck visit resulted in me finally seeing a good picture of myself! I hate seeing pics of me, most of them make me look like a troll, but this pic didn't make me want to vomit, so I'd class that as a good pic. Next stop, airport and journey home.
Yep you guessed it. She got groped, and I was a good ten feet away at the time. the Skycap decided to get a little handy as timeturner booked her cases in and got her boarding pass. So on to hand my cases in and get my pass and then wait for the flight with a quiet drink. "My Journal!! It's in your case!!" tt shreiked.
Well, I'll tell you something, I think tt is pretty tough and doesn't cry much, but I swear there was a tear coming as I looked at her. She looked distraught. Writing is her world, anyone who knows her knows that after her family, writing is the most important thing to her. So my case was gone and so was the journal. What to do? Leave her alone in a busy international airport and try to get the journal back, or stay with her and see her upset. Two minutes later and I'm arguing with a British Airways lady. Five minutes later I'm arguing with her boss. Ten minutes later and Linda has her journal back.
Terry Pratchett?? Sitting in the departure lounge and who comes in and sits opposite me. That's right.. Terry fucking Pratchett. Several minutes of hyperventilating and fangirlyness resulted in me talking to him for a little while but forgetting the autograph.
So that was Chicago. I wouldn't have missed it for the world. Kay is just as I thought she would be, as was Linda.(although a special mention must to to the pink dress!) They made my weekend and as long as I live, I'll never be able to repay them for their kindness and the wonderful time they showed me while I was a stranger in their country. I am proud to count them among my friends, real friends. You'd be searching for a long time to find two people more dedicated to HPFF :)
The later part of that evening was spent discussing the forthcoming interview with CBS, as the night wore on I decided to stay at their hotel. Time for more drinks and appreciative comments on pyjamas.
The interview went well. The girls were filmed on their computers doing HPFF stuff, I was filmed reading a magazine about the forthcoming "Smurfs" movie. Yep, I'm dedicated, there's no denying that. :P But the CBS guy wanted a one on one interview and this is where Kay came into her own. Linda and I left the room and Kay gave a wonderful account of HPFF and her part in it. She was in fact quite calm and if truth be told I think she enjoyed it!
While on the subject of Kay, I have to say that for two people that were brought together through my site, it's hard to believe just how close she and Linda are. In fact I did feel like I was getting in the way of their weekend. I asked them several times if they were Ok with me being there and they said yes. Of course it didn't help that after I went out for a while I returned to be locked out of the room and no idea where they had gone. I thought "I've asked all day and now you don't want me around"! So I waited 10 minutes and being the rational, logical guy I am, I texted something along the lines of "screw this, I'm going back to my hotel" to Linda. I decided on one last check of the door as I returned from the lobby, and as luck would have it, they were there. They'd been out getting booze and doughnuts for me. Yeah, how fucking bad did I feel then.
Later that evening as Linda was feeling a little tired and sleepy, Kay decided to take me shopping. Bad move. Linda had no key. House keeping decided that Linda was not supposed to be in the room and threw her out. My shopping spree resulted in a bottle of aftershave and a seriously pissed off Linda. Neither really what I wanted.
Sunday night, and I had the best steak I've had in quite a while. Linda, being Linda picked up a 'book'. The waiter approached.. "Ah, I see you're browsing the wine list". Kay and Linda exchanged knowing glances. "He wants a Grappa". What?? I don't even know what a Grappa is. Maybe it's a fine red wine to wash down my steak, maybe a chianti that dances on my palate? Well a small sherry glass containing a clear liquid arrived. "What do I do with this? Down it in one, sip it?" Kay looked at me and said just drink it. I took a big gulp of clear liquid. Fuckin hell I can't breathe, my chest is burning, my throat is on fire and the words I try to make come out as high pitched squeaks. Kay of course laughs and says try some more. Like an idiot I do, it's worse. This time my tongue goes numb and my ability to speak has been removed. Linda now decides to join Kay in mocking me.
There is a strange incident earlier in the day, the three of us are out looking around the area. We come to a crossing and all of a sudden I feel as if I have been hit by a lightning bolt. I let out a shriek and jump six inches off the floor. Everybody around me stares as I start to giggle, I don't know what happened. Kay is looking at me perplexed, Linda has a strange calm, smile on her face. Suddenly I am bent over laughing. I can't help it. People are avoiding me and gawping at the weird British guy. Kay and Linda walk on as I stumble along with tears in my eyes, still not knowing what the fuck happened!
The next few days were a mash of sightseeing and revelations about timeturner. She's a librarian, so when in Chicago you gotta visit the library right? Dude, (Kay, that's your fault! I never say dude) it was a huge place, took us a while to hunt down HP, but we finally found him and took a pic for you guys. The touristy thing continued and as we walked past a park we decided to stop for a rest and to get some water. It was here that I discovered the first revelation about timeturner. She is a magnet for weirdos and gropers. As we went to sit down a homeless guy started shouting things at her. She wasn't too bothered, I think this kind of thing is a regular occurance (as would be proved later at the precinct and the airport). So we sat there enjoying the weather and the park and I discovered something else, she has a back problem. She couldn't sit for too long without getting shivers running down her back. Strange, but as the day wore on, nothing would surprise me. I think it was later that day that I nearly managed to drown your site manager. It's a long story and best kept for another blog.
We left the park and somehow ended up at the precinct where two policemen decided to fight over which one of them would be photographed with Linda. Seriously, they were arguing in front of me! The tall guy won and the resulting picture made timeturner look like she was three foot 6 tall, when in reality we all know she is four foot. Food followed. Another revelation about Linda occurred later. She had told me she had issues with something and that it would have a bad effect on her. I thought she was exaggerating slightly, but as we came out of the lift to the room that night, she nearly collapsed in a heap on the floor :( Lesson learnt, timeturner does not exaggerate.
It was a little while later that Linda tweeted that she knew "what Jay's best feature is". Well I gotta be honest, I know what my best feature is and I really thought I had kept it hidden. I still have no clue how she saw it. But the next day, "Jay's best feature" would be a tattoo.
I don't really drink. Trust me, strange things happen around me when I am drunk. I'll usually get a Southern Comfort and 'Nurse it' for a while. Because if I have too many, all kinds of weird shit happens. I say things that shouldn't be said and do things that I regret later. This weekend was DEFINITELY not the time to get drunk. So normally I stay quiet and sip my drink. But tonight, timeturner decides it's a good idea for a tattoo. Not just any tattoo, and not on her. A Harry Potter tattoo "You know a lightning bolt or something would look good on you!" So 20 minutes later I am the proud bearer of "Harry Potter" across my back. What a fucking dick!
The final day saw a visit to "Sears Tower" for the skydeck, which seeing as I used to suffer from a fear of heights was interesting. Linda loved it and there are loads of pics to prove it. But I will say one thing, this skydeck visit resulted in me finally seeing a good picture of myself! I hate seeing pics of me, most of them make me look like a troll, but this pic didn't make me want to vomit, so I'd class that as a good pic. Next stop, airport and journey home.
Yep you guessed it. She got groped, and I was a good ten feet away at the time. the Skycap decided to get a little handy as timeturner booked her cases in and got her boarding pass. So on to hand my cases in and get my pass and then wait for the flight with a quiet drink. "My Journal!! It's in your case!!" tt shreiked.
Well, I'll tell you something, I think tt is pretty tough and doesn't cry much, but I swear there was a tear coming as I looked at her. She looked distraught. Writing is her world, anyone who knows her knows that after her family, writing is the most important thing to her. So my case was gone and so was the journal. What to do? Leave her alone in a busy international airport and try to get the journal back, or stay with her and see her upset. Two minutes later and I'm arguing with a British Airways lady. Five minutes later I'm arguing with her boss. Ten minutes later and Linda has her journal back.
Terry Pratchett?? Sitting in the departure lounge and who comes in and sits opposite me. That's right.. Terry fucking Pratchett. Several minutes of hyperventilating and fangirlyness resulted in me talking to him for a little while but forgetting the autograph.
So that was Chicago. I wouldn't have missed it for the world. Kay is just as I thought she would be, as was Linda.(although a special mention must to to the pink dress!) They made my weekend and as long as I live, I'll never be able to repay them for their kindness and the wonderful time they showed me while I was a stranger in their country. I am proud to count them among my friends, real friends. You'd be searching for a long time to find two people more dedicated to HPFF :)
Wednesday, 6 July 2011
Paris sucks.
Actually, Paris is a wonderful city. Expensive, but still a nice city. Unless of course you are sent there at two days notice, on your own, to run a job that you have no idea about and don't really want to do. Add to that the fact that I was staying on the site in a small campbed, with a kettle and microwave for company, no internet, no twitter, no chat, and you can see how boring it was. Although on the bright side, I managed to get quite a bit done on my nanowrimo story.
I hate working away and this was no exception. I was taken away from the people I cared about, to work in a foreign country with foreign workers and very, very little knowledge of the language. This is the time I wish I'd paid more attention to my French teacher, Caterine and less attention to her wonderful cleavage. But hey, I was a young teenage boy and those hormones are a bitch to ignore. Well, mine were.
Anyway, back to Paris. The city of lovers, the city of romance. All well and good but when you're on your own and working with a load of hairy arsed Frenchmen, trust me, romance is the furthest thing from your mind. Well from my mind anyway. I had my doubts about Francois. A nice, hard working young man who seemed a little too keen to kiss me on both cheeks every time we met and delighted in calling me “English”. “Allo English!”
But to be fair to Francois, he had a wicked motorbike, A yamaha Superbike. I asked if I could have a go and he laughed. Tuesday night he came back to the job in his leathers and threw the keys at me. 10 minutes later I took it for a gentle ride down the street and back again. Christ knows how I didn't have an accident, seeing as I'm used to driving on the left side of the road, not like these French and Americans who drive on the wrong side!
But to be fair to Francois, he had a wicked motorbike, A yamaha Superbike. I asked if I could have a go and he laughed. Tuesday night he came back to the job in his leathers and threw the keys at me. 10 minutes later I took it for a gentle ride down the street and back again. Christ knows how I didn't have an accident, seeing as I'm used to driving on the left side of the road, not like these French and Americans who drive on the wrong side!
We had just over a week here to get the job done, we were on a bonus to get it brought in on time and a further bonus if we came in early. There are paying customers waiting to get into this office and every day it's unoccupied, tens of thousands of Euros are lost. So I arrived on a Sunday and wasn't expecting to leave till the Monday after. But I asked the guys to work 12 hour shifts instead of 8, with the result that we finished before the weekend!
I'd love to fill this blog with adventures of boozy late nights. But we were on a deadline and as much as I wanted to go out and get drunk, I really didn't have the time. Although I did have a day to myself. (well a half day. I was going to run the Wednesday evening shift, but got told to go home early!) I had agreed before going that I would take a day off midweek whether the job was ahead or not, so Wednesday arrived and the best I could do was a little shopping and to take a few pics to send on to a friend, who wanted me to take pictures of anything 'nifty'. (I think 'nifty' in this context meant statues with willies)
So, as far as I'm concerned, Paris was not a fun place to be. Maybe if I'd been there with someone, taking a walk along the restaurants on the Champs Elysees, taking a boat along the Seine, or standing in the shadow of the Eiffel Tower, things might have been different, in fact I know they would have been. But as it was, I worked hard took the money and saw little of Paris. But from the little I did see, Paris is a lovely city. It's only 2 hours and twenty minutes from London and the train costs about £70/$100. So I definitely think that the next time I visit France (charity bike ride not included :P ) I'l make sure to take someone with me. :)
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