Just back from Chicago, had a blast. Best weekend I've had in a while, well at least since the stag party in Blackpool a few years back when I met a young lady who could do things with her tongue that you wouldn't believe. Anyway, enough of that, on with the blog.
There was a staff meetup in Chicago with CBS. Bitterepiphany and timeturner were going to have an interview with them. We were discussing this when Kay asked if I could make it over "tomorrow". I laughed, from London, by tomorrow?…..
Six hours later I was on a plane.
I arrived at my hotel and got a message from Linda and Kay to meet them for a drink. So I got in a cab and said I needed to go to The Hilton on the corner of Delaware and Michigan. Fifty minutes later and just as many dollars, we arrived but could see no Hilton hotel. At this point the cab driver decided he had done his job and told me to get out as he had taken me to the address. So there I was wandering around a strange town asking people for the "Hilton". No one seemed to know where it was until a doorman pointed me in the right direction.
Five minutes later I met Linda and Kay and a small dynamo called Grace. The girl with the flower in her hair. Drinks flowed, conversation was made and Grace made an immediate impact on me. I don't think it was the fact she kept "falling" out of her dress (OK maybe that helped) but more that she had such a bouncy, bubbly personality that I was immediately put at my ease. Although she did wonder about my eating fries with a fork :P
The later part of that evening was spent discussing the forthcoming interview with CBS, as the night wore on I decided to stay at their hotel. Time for more drinks and appreciative comments on pyjamas.
The interview went well. The girls were filmed on their computers doing HPFF stuff, I was filmed reading a magazine about the forthcoming "Smurfs" movie. Yep, I'm dedicated, there's no denying that. :P But the CBS guy wanted a one on one interview and this is where Kay came into her own. Linda and I left the room and Kay gave a wonderful account of HPFF and her part in it. She was in fact quite calm and if truth be told I think she enjoyed it!
While on the subject of Kay, I have to say that for two people that were brought together through my site, it's hard to believe just how close she and Linda are. In fact I did feel like I was getting in the way of their weekend. I asked them several times if they were Ok with me being there and they said yes. Of course it didn't help that after I went out for a while I returned to be locked out of the room and no idea where they had gone. I thought "I've asked all day and now you don't want me around"! So I waited 10 minutes and being the rational, logical guy I am, I texted something along the lines of "screw this, I'm going back to my hotel" to Linda. I decided on one last check of the door as I returned from the lobby, and as luck would have it, they were there. They'd been out getting booze and doughnuts for me. Yeah, how fucking bad did I feel then.
Later that evening as Linda was feeling a little tired and sleepy, Kay decided to take me shopping. Bad move. Linda had no key. House keeping decided that Linda was not supposed to be in the room and threw her out. My shopping spree resulted in a bottle of aftershave and a seriously pissed off Linda. Neither really what I wanted.
Sunday night, and I had the best steak I've had in quite a while. Linda, being Linda picked up a 'book'. The waiter approached.. "Ah, I see you're browsing the wine list". Kay and Linda exchanged knowing glances. "He wants a Grappa". What?? I don't even know what a Grappa is. Maybe it's a fine red wine to wash down my steak, maybe a chianti that dances on my palate? Well a small sherry glass containing a clear liquid arrived. "What do I do with this? Down it in one, sip it?" Kay looked at me and said just drink it. I took a big gulp of clear liquid. Fuckin hell I can't breathe, my chest is burning, my throat is on fire and the words I try to make come out as high pitched squeaks. Kay of course laughs and says try some more. Like an idiot I do, it's worse. This time my tongue goes numb and my ability to speak has been removed. Linda now decides to join Kay in mocking me.
There is a strange incident earlier in the day, the three of us are out looking around the area. We come to a crossing and all of a sudden I feel as if I have been hit by a lightning bolt. I let out a shriek and jump six inches off the floor. Everybody around me stares as I start to giggle, I don't know what happened. Kay is looking at me perplexed, Linda has a strange calm, smile on her face. Suddenly I am bent over laughing. I can't help it. People are avoiding me and gawping at the weird British guy. Kay and Linda walk on as I stumble along with tears in my eyes, still not knowing what the fuck happened!
The next few days were a mash of sightseeing and revelations about timeturner. She's a librarian, so when in Chicago you gotta visit the library right? Dude, (Kay, that's your fault! I never say dude) it was a huge place, took us a while to hunt down HP, but we finally found him and took a pic for you guys. The touristy thing continued and as we walked past a park we decided to stop for a rest and to get some water. It was here that I discovered the first revelation about timeturner. She is a magnet for weirdos and gropers. As we went to sit down a homeless guy started shouting things at her. She wasn't too bothered, I think this kind of thing is a regular occurance (as would be proved later at the precinct and the airport). So we sat there enjoying the weather and the park and I discovered something else, she has a back problem. She couldn't sit for too long without getting shivers running down her back. Strange, but as the day wore on, nothing would surprise me. I think it was later that day that I nearly managed to drown your site manager. It's a long story and best kept for another blog.
We left the park and somehow ended up at the precinct where two policemen decided to fight over which one of them would be photographed with Linda. Seriously, they were arguing in front of me! The tall guy won and the resulting picture made timeturner look like she was three foot 6 tall, when in reality we all know she is four foot. Food followed. Another revelation about Linda occurred later. She had told me she had issues with something and that it would have a bad effect on her. I thought she was exaggerating slightly, but as we came out of the lift to the room that night, she nearly collapsed in a heap on the floor :( Lesson learnt, timeturner does not exaggerate.
It was a little while later that Linda tweeted that she knew "what Jay's best feature is". Well I gotta be honest, I know what my best feature is and I really thought I had kept it hidden. I still have no clue how she saw it. But the next day, "Jay's best feature" would be a tattoo.
I don't really drink. Trust me, strange things happen around me when I am drunk. I'll usually get a Southern Comfort and 'Nurse it' for a while. Because if I have too many, all kinds of weird shit happens. I say things that shouldn't be said and do things that I regret later. This weekend was DEFINITELY not the time to get drunk. So normally I stay quiet and sip my drink. But tonight, timeturner decides it's a good idea for a tattoo. Not just any tattoo, and not on her. A Harry Potter tattoo "You know a lightning bolt or something would look good on you!" So 20 minutes later I am the proud bearer of "Harry Potter" across my back. What a fucking dick!
The final day saw a visit to "Sears Tower" for the skydeck, which seeing as I used to suffer from a fear of heights was interesting. Linda loved it and there are loads of pics to prove it. But I will say one thing, this skydeck visit resulted in me finally seeing a good picture of myself! I hate seeing pics of me, most of them make me look like a troll, but this pic didn't make me want to vomit, so I'd class that as a good pic. Next stop, airport and journey home.
Yep you guessed it. She got groped, and I was a good ten feet away at the time. the Skycap decided to get a little handy as timeturner booked her cases in and got her boarding pass. So on to hand my cases in and get my pass and then wait for the flight with a quiet drink. "My Journal!! It's in your case!!" tt shreiked.
Well, I'll tell you something, I think tt is pretty tough and doesn't cry much, but I swear there was a tear coming as I looked at her. She looked distraught. Writing is her world, anyone who knows her knows that after her family, writing is the most important thing to her. So my case was gone and so was the journal. What to do? Leave her alone in a busy international airport and try to get the journal back, or stay with her and see her upset. Two minutes later and I'm arguing with a British Airways lady. Five minutes later I'm arguing with her boss. Ten minutes later and Linda has her journal back.
Terry Pratchett?? Sitting in the departure lounge and who comes in and sits opposite me. That's right.. Terry fucking Pratchett. Several minutes of hyperventilating and fangirlyness resulted in me talking to him for a little while but forgetting the autograph.
So that was Chicago. I wouldn't have missed it for the world. Kay is just as I thought she would be, as was Linda.(although a special mention must to to the pink dress!) They made my weekend and as long as I live, I'll never be able to repay them for their kindness and the wonderful time they showed me while I was a stranger in their country. I am proud to count them among my friends, real friends. You'd be searching for a long time to find two people more dedicated to HPFF :)
The later part of that evening was spent discussing the forthcoming interview with CBS, as the night wore on I decided to stay at their hotel. Time for more drinks and appreciative comments on pyjamas.
The interview went well. The girls were filmed on their computers doing HPFF stuff, I was filmed reading a magazine about the forthcoming "Smurfs" movie. Yep, I'm dedicated, there's no denying that. :P But the CBS guy wanted a one on one interview and this is where Kay came into her own. Linda and I left the room and Kay gave a wonderful account of HPFF and her part in it. She was in fact quite calm and if truth be told I think she enjoyed it!
While on the subject of Kay, I have to say that for two people that were brought together through my site, it's hard to believe just how close she and Linda are. In fact I did feel like I was getting in the way of their weekend. I asked them several times if they were Ok with me being there and they said yes. Of course it didn't help that after I went out for a while I returned to be locked out of the room and no idea where they had gone. I thought "I've asked all day and now you don't want me around"! So I waited 10 minutes and being the rational, logical guy I am, I texted something along the lines of "screw this, I'm going back to my hotel" to Linda. I decided on one last check of the door as I returned from the lobby, and as luck would have it, they were there. They'd been out getting booze and doughnuts for me. Yeah, how fucking bad did I feel then.
Later that evening as Linda was feeling a little tired and sleepy, Kay decided to take me shopping. Bad move. Linda had no key. House keeping decided that Linda was not supposed to be in the room and threw her out. My shopping spree resulted in a bottle of aftershave and a seriously pissed off Linda. Neither really what I wanted.
Sunday night, and I had the best steak I've had in quite a while. Linda, being Linda picked up a 'book'. The waiter approached.. "Ah, I see you're browsing the wine list". Kay and Linda exchanged knowing glances. "He wants a Grappa". What?? I don't even know what a Grappa is. Maybe it's a fine red wine to wash down my steak, maybe a chianti that dances on my palate? Well a small sherry glass containing a clear liquid arrived. "What do I do with this? Down it in one, sip it?" Kay looked at me and said just drink it. I took a big gulp of clear liquid. Fuckin hell I can't breathe, my chest is burning, my throat is on fire and the words I try to make come out as high pitched squeaks. Kay of course laughs and says try some more. Like an idiot I do, it's worse. This time my tongue goes numb and my ability to speak has been removed. Linda now decides to join Kay in mocking me.
There is a strange incident earlier in the day, the three of us are out looking around the area. We come to a crossing and all of a sudden I feel as if I have been hit by a lightning bolt. I let out a shriek and jump six inches off the floor. Everybody around me stares as I start to giggle, I don't know what happened. Kay is looking at me perplexed, Linda has a strange calm, smile on her face. Suddenly I am bent over laughing. I can't help it. People are avoiding me and gawping at the weird British guy. Kay and Linda walk on as I stumble along with tears in my eyes, still not knowing what the fuck happened!
The next few days were a mash of sightseeing and revelations about timeturner. She's a librarian, so when in Chicago you gotta visit the library right? Dude, (Kay, that's your fault! I never say dude) it was a huge place, took us a while to hunt down HP, but we finally found him and took a pic for you guys. The touristy thing continued and as we walked past a park we decided to stop for a rest and to get some water. It was here that I discovered the first revelation about timeturner. She is a magnet for weirdos and gropers. As we went to sit down a homeless guy started shouting things at her. She wasn't too bothered, I think this kind of thing is a regular occurance (as would be proved later at the precinct and the airport). So we sat there enjoying the weather and the park and I discovered something else, she has a back problem. She couldn't sit for too long without getting shivers running down her back. Strange, but as the day wore on, nothing would surprise me. I think it was later that day that I nearly managed to drown your site manager. It's a long story and best kept for another blog.
We left the park and somehow ended up at the precinct where two policemen decided to fight over which one of them would be photographed with Linda. Seriously, they were arguing in front of me! The tall guy won and the resulting picture made timeturner look like she was three foot 6 tall, when in reality we all know she is four foot. Food followed. Another revelation about Linda occurred later. She had told me she had issues with something and that it would have a bad effect on her. I thought she was exaggerating slightly, but as we came out of the lift to the room that night, she nearly collapsed in a heap on the floor :( Lesson learnt, timeturner does not exaggerate.
It was a little while later that Linda tweeted that she knew "what Jay's best feature is". Well I gotta be honest, I know what my best feature is and I really thought I had kept it hidden. I still have no clue how she saw it. But the next day, "Jay's best feature" would be a tattoo.
I don't really drink. Trust me, strange things happen around me when I am drunk. I'll usually get a Southern Comfort and 'Nurse it' for a while. Because if I have too many, all kinds of weird shit happens. I say things that shouldn't be said and do things that I regret later. This weekend was DEFINITELY not the time to get drunk. So normally I stay quiet and sip my drink. But tonight, timeturner decides it's a good idea for a tattoo. Not just any tattoo, and not on her. A Harry Potter tattoo "You know a lightning bolt or something would look good on you!" So 20 minutes later I am the proud bearer of "Harry Potter" across my back. What a fucking dick!
The final day saw a visit to "Sears Tower" for the skydeck, which seeing as I used to suffer from a fear of heights was interesting. Linda loved it and there are loads of pics to prove it. But I will say one thing, this skydeck visit resulted in me finally seeing a good picture of myself! I hate seeing pics of me, most of them make me look like a troll, but this pic didn't make me want to vomit, so I'd class that as a good pic. Next stop, airport and journey home.
Yep you guessed it. She got groped, and I was a good ten feet away at the time. the Skycap decided to get a little handy as timeturner booked her cases in and got her boarding pass. So on to hand my cases in and get my pass and then wait for the flight with a quiet drink. "My Journal!! It's in your case!!" tt shreiked.
Well, I'll tell you something, I think tt is pretty tough and doesn't cry much, but I swear there was a tear coming as I looked at her. She looked distraught. Writing is her world, anyone who knows her knows that after her family, writing is the most important thing to her. So my case was gone and so was the journal. What to do? Leave her alone in a busy international airport and try to get the journal back, or stay with her and see her upset. Two minutes later and I'm arguing with a British Airways lady. Five minutes later I'm arguing with her boss. Ten minutes later and Linda has her journal back.
Terry Pratchett?? Sitting in the departure lounge and who comes in and sits opposite me. That's right.. Terry fucking Pratchett. Several minutes of hyperventilating and fangirlyness resulted in me talking to him for a little while but forgetting the autograph.
So that was Chicago. I wouldn't have missed it for the world. Kay is just as I thought she would be, as was Linda.(although a special mention must to to the pink dress!) They made my weekend and as long as I live, I'll never be able to repay them for their kindness and the wonderful time they showed me while I was a stranger in their country. I am proud to count them among my friends, real friends. You'd be searching for a long time to find two people more dedicated to HPFF :)
I can now picture you fangirling and it amuses me even more :)
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